Sipping the Water

As a kid, I spent a lot of my days at church. Whether it was tent revivals, volunteering in the warehouse, or sunday school, I learned the songs, the ways, and the word. I reflect on all of that and then wonder what is missing in my life.

I have not led a very righteous life. I have turned my back on him, I have cursed His name, and I have questioned everything about Him. I honest felt as if I had legitimate reasons to feel this way.
I haven’t stepped foot in a church since the day I got married. I haven’t touched a Bible in years. I haven’t really even taught my daughter anything related to religion. (There was once a time I wouldn’t have felt so horrible and ashamed for that.) 

Last year was one of the hardest years of my adult life. I have never felt so low and useless in my entire life. I needed to cling onto something that would give me hope, to get me through. I will never forget that feeble prayer.

My main New Years Resolution was to become closer with God. Though lately it’s almost like I’ve been dipping my toe in the water, refusing to jump because the water will take me out of my comfort zone.

I am thankful to have such an amazing friend in my husband. He has literally and figuratively held my hand through all of this, he is also the one to “push me into the water.” We have decided to attend Sunday service at the church we were married in!

While I am excited, I am nervous. I wish I could elaborate that but I cannot think of any words that eloquently explain. This is a new chapter in our lives!

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The Glass Swan

Clean

My Grandmother was obsessed about dishes. Anyone who knew her, knew her as the “Dish Lady.” She would drive hundreds of miles away from home just to buy what most people thought was a simple plate. As a child, my Mom would send me with her for the summer. I would often accompany her on these bizarre road trips.

A few days ago, I was looking through an old box and found a dusty glass swan. Immediately an old memory flashed in my head. I was about 7 years old. My Grandmother and I were on our way to pick up a load of antique dishes. Soonafter arriving, I wandered off to look around the enormous barn packed full of stuff.

I remember my Grandmother picking up this glass piece and I thinking how weird looking it was. When we got back to her house, we sat at the her cluttered kitchen table. She showed me how to clean each dish, how to read the information on each dish, how to reference and log how to each dish, and how to profit from each dish.

Funny how memories become so precious.

Teary eyed, I cleaned off the little glass piece. Behold, a beautiful swan. Now it sits happily beside my coffee pot full of sugar. I am sure my Grandmother is proudly smiling behind her coffee mug.

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